In this Sidemen Charity Match match, I analyse the key tactical moments, individual performances and turning points of the game.
Wembley once again turned into a stage for the best football in the world. Sidemen FC vs YouTube Allstars isn’t about tactics, it isn’t about organisation, it’s about chaos, spectacle and moments that make everyone laugh while, deep down, they’re doing something serious: helping.
And the game starts exactly how it had to start: completely nonsensical. Early on there’s a collision, confusion and glasses nearly destroyed. On 9 minutes, a perfect cross and AngryGinge appears like a true elite striker. Times his run perfectly and heads it in, and honestly, we’ve seen worse in Champions League finals. 0-1. And the madness begins.
Sidemen respond quickly. On 13 minutes, a set-piece routine and TBJZL decides to turn Wembley into a stage of magic. An absolutely ridiculous trivela, the kind you try a thousand times and it never comes off, but this one did. And it was perfect. 1-1.
And when it feels like we’ve seen everything, we’ve seen nothing. On 16 minutes, ChrisMD produces a genius pass to Marlon, who drives forward like he’s in a serious match and finishes with absurd composure. 2-1. A moment of pure quality in the middle of chaos.
On 29 minutes, maybe the most symbolic moment of the match: xQc saves a penalty like a hero and seconds later concedes one of the most comical howlers possible against Miniminter. From hero to zero in less than a minute. 2-2.
On 34 minutes, a shot from ChrisMD, a deflection, the ball in the air, a failed clearance and a goal. On 38 minutes, Jynxzi shows up in the right place, like it was inevitable. On 40 minutes, ItalianBach pulls off a Johan Cruyff turn and finishes like a future legend. 4-3.
And when the clock is calling for half-time, on 45 minutes, Miniminter decides to end the first half in maximum style. Receives the ball, embarrasses the defender and smashes it into the top corner. A ridiculous goal. 4-4.
The second half somehow gets even crazier. On 48 minutes, Danny Aarons hits the best shot of his life. On 50 minutes, another goal, with a touch from the goalkeeper that only helps it go in. 4-6. On 53 minutes, penalty for Sidemen and of course, it couldn’t be simple. Save, but the ball still goes in, because in this game even mistakes become goals. 5-6.
Then comes the equaliser on 57 minutes, with Zerkaa finishing a move that looked like the best tiki-taka ever seen, but with players completely out of position. 6-6. The game turns into a festival. On 64 minutes, an attempted bicycle kick turns into a perfect assist and another goal for YouTube Allstars. On 67 minutes, Vikkstar123 scores and Wembley celebrates like it’s a World Cup final. 7-7.
On 71 minutes, a goal with a possible handball, but given, because football has these things. On 75 minutes, KSI shows up, scores and silences everything, like a true protagonist. 8-8.
And it’s still not over. On 77 minutes, Niko finally scores. On 79 minutes, another immediate goal. 10-8. It looks done, but it isn’t.
On 84 minutes, Miniminter completes his hat-trick with an absolutely impossible strike. 10-9. And on 87 minutes, ItalianBach finishes it with a missile from outside the box that looked GPS-guided. 10-10.
Of course, this could only end in penalties. In the shootout, Sidemen didn’t stand a chance, with their manager and LazarBeam missing, while the other side converted all four they took.
Post-match
YouTube Allstars win on penalties, but honestly, no one really cares about that. The real spectacle was this completely chaotic, emotional and absurd game that managed to combine football, humour and a bigger cause, and in the end, that’s what actually matters.